It is hard to go up there as an instructor and put on a happy face for an hour. I'm sorry I have no desire right now to return to teaching my dance classes. I'm sorry if I don't attend your baby showers, get togethers, or want to go out. So please don't worry about apologizing, giving condolences, we're not out yet.
![darling don darling don](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/d2/57/eb/d257ebb110f1e5517ef7bbf0b9ead914.jpg)
I'm scared because I so desperately want to give all of you wonderful news that it worked. I'm scared because this is another large loan we will be taking out. I'm scared, because we are running out of options. So, in a few weeks, once I've gone through a complete menstrual cycle, we will begin the process.again. I know I'm not getting any younger and I need to value this summertime. So where do we go from here? Luckily two more embryos made it to day 5 and have been frozen. And just a few minutes ago I got the call. Donavon and I snuck away from the tour group to go do my bloodwork this morning. I was really doing it to brace myself for the call I knew I'd be receiving. So yesterday morning I took one last test, knowing I'd be doing my beta work today at Labcorp. I was terrified even to use the restroom or cough. Believe me when I say that over these lsttwo weeks I tried to do EVERYTHING right. Donavon carried my luggage, I took trams to avoid walking hills. I didn't want to do anything to jeopardize any slim chances that remained. I was still trying to make sure to be cautious on this trip. I left for Washington DC and New York on Monday morning.
![darling don darling don](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/82/81/43/828143ffa9d5ff76c27d2047da2599d1--a-thousand-years-i-love-you.jpg)
While in some cases, the timing can vary, that never changed for me. So ideally, by last weekend, I should have already been seeing positive signs on early detection home pregnancy tests. Once the egg implants, it begins to release hcg, the hormone that is detected in pregnancy tests. From there, it should have taken the eggs 1-4 days to begin implanting into my uterine lining. I had a 5 day transfer, so the eggs already had 5 days of growth before being injected into me. From the time the egg has been retrieved and inseminated, the countdown begins. While I am faithful, I am also a realist and like to deal in facts.
![darling don darling don](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/09/5e/ed/095eed5ce43464602df2e86008119281.jpg)
So here it is, I have kind of been aware of this and the likely outcome for the last week or so. Especially for my IVF angels out there that have been through this before and who have been there to answer my late night questions and concerns, ladies you have been amazing. I have loved and cherished every prayer, advice and positive vibes you have sent our way. It breaks my heart, as I sit here writing this. Unfortunately this round of IVF was unsuccessful. And in this case, I'll need that persistence more than ever. Time stands still Beauty in all she is I will be brave I will not let anything take away What's standing in front of me Every breath Every hour has come to this Christina Perri - A Thousand Years - Īnd all along I believed I would find you Time has brought your heart to me I have loved you for a thousand years I'll love you for a thousand more
![darling don darling don](https://s.mxmcdn.net/images-storage/albums/6/9/7/7/7/3/26377796_800_800.jpg)
I have died everyday waiting for you Darling don't be afraid I have loved you for a thousand years I'll love you for a thousand more
Darling don't be afraid i have loved you for a thousand years how to#
The day we met Frozen, I held my breath Right from the start Knew that I'd found a home For my heart Beats fast Colours and promises How to be brave How can I love when I'm afraid to fall But watching you stand alone All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow